Do I look like a paint chemist to you?

From: Recruitment Consultant
To: Traxy
Subject: New Vacancy from Recruitment Agency - Paint Chemist- 22K
Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2011 13:52:16 +0100

My client based in Yorkshire - North are currently recruiting and I wondered if you might be interested in the position.

Paint Chemist- 22K (to £28000)
Industry: Science Sector:Chemistry - Process
Employment Type: Permanent

My client based are a paint manufacturer based in Yorkshire, they are currently looking for a chemist to join their team.

The suitable candidate should have experience with chemistry formulation and paint formulation. Experience with colour coatings or colour polymers will be strongly considered. The candidate should a minimum in a BSc in Chemistry or a related subject.

Skills Considered:

  • Paint Formulation
  • Paint Analysis
  • Colloid Formulation
  • Colloid Analysis
  • Polymer Analysis
  • Polymer Formulation
  • Coating Formulation
  • Coating Analysis
  • Colour Formulation
  • Colour Analysis.

If this position is of interest please send a copy of your CV in word MS format to Recruitment Consultant at Recruitment Agency.

From: Traxy
To: Recruitment Consultant
Subject: RE: New Vacancy from Recruitment Agency - Paint Chemist- 22K
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2011 08:40:40 +0000

Hi Recruitment Consultant,

Thank you for your email.

The first time I was notified of this position, I was sitting scratching my head wondering how on earth anyone would think I'd be even remotely qualified for (or interested in) a position like that. Then suddenly I realised. If any of you had actually opened to read the CV instead of just searching it for keywords, you would have seen that the only chemistry reference in there is "Chemistry Digital", the name of a web development agency in Nottingham for whom I have done some contract work in HTML. You would've also seen that my employment record is lightweight web development, radio broadcasting, and IT support.

So please, if you have any positions in or around Nottingham that is to do with radio or HTML development (NOT IT support and/or callcentres) - feel free to contact me about vacant positions. Chemistry - well let's just say I haven't touched a litmus paper or a bunsen burner since I was 15 and I'm happy to keep it that way. ;)

Wishing you all the best for the weekend,


I'm not actually looking for a new job as I'm quite happy where I am (almost a year now and I still don't hate it, hooray!), so my CV was withdrawn from all the job hunting sites at least six months ago. Some agencies have it on file, so every now and then I still get emails with positions available - although I've yet to see one I'm actually qualified for.

With regards to the emails above, I didn't think it would be a good strategy to tell a recruitment agency to eff off, because if they did happen to find a radio job available in Nottingham, you know, not like I wouldn't be listening, and always good to keep your options open.

But seriously, this is at least the third time I've been notified about this position, and on two different email addresses as well, and they would be better off trying to target people who actually do have degrees in chemistry instead of just googling the CVs on file for keywords.

P.S. I also had a reply from the Recruitment Consultant. She was politely and professionally snarky back, pointing out just how many CVs and jobs they have on file and they can't always be right, but it's not half as amusing to read.